JimDean: Hello Santa, Thank you for being with us for your first GHC interview. Let me start right out be asking you...was it you Santa that hacked the email files that showed the climateers were running a Barnum and Bailey hoax on us?

Santa: Well Jim, I cannot tell a lie. It was not me personally but you know I have a lot of elves up here and I can't run my operation without some geeks. The Chinese have been trying to hack me for year now, something about unfair competition, not paying any duties, dumping under priced goods on the market. Those fellas play hard ball.

JimDean: Santa, you have elves that can hack into university computers?

Santa: There is a little more to it. You see I have some ex-CIA and NSA consultants I have on retainer, and those folks are pretty talented when it comes to communications. I use my elves for defense, and the consultants for offense. That way I have deniability, that is what I think they call it in the 'trade.'

JimDean: I think our viewers would be very curious to know how you got onto these fellas rigging the data and the computer modeling to come up with their desired result.

Santa: I am surprised at you Jim. You heritage folks should be right on top of this. Santa KNOWS who's been naughty, and who has been nice, and these fellas have been real naughty.

JimDean: On sure Santa...I knew that...sure I did...but I have to ask these question for the sake of our heritage deprived viewers you understand.

Santa: Jim....you are being naughty.

JimDean: OK Santa....you got me. I was trying to slide that one by you. But Santa, what was the motivation for these folks? Why risk their reputations over such a huge issue? Don't they have nice cushy university research jobs, health care, pensions and all of that good stuff.

Santa: Well yes they do Jim. And they want to keep them. You see they have been milking these grants and between girlfriends and mistresses, the horse races in England are a big thing, and those long European vacations they love so much...they...well...they cut a few corners so to speak.

JimDean: Santa, are you saying they took the grant money and they gave us a bunch of gobbledey gook in return?

Santa: Yes, that is the bottom line. The data was just a mess. They knew it was just a matter of time before they were eventually exposed. So they concocted this scheme where anyone who challenged them in any way would be smeared as a climate change denier. They borrowed it from the holocaust denier lobby folks, you know, where they put people in jail for challenging the official history of WWII. I think they get five years. And 'truth' is no defense in those prosecutions. All they have to do is prove you challenged the official version and wham...you get five years.

JimDean: Sir, It seems like you would tend to go the other way on this issue. After all, you have been the victim of Santa deniers for years now, especially the Red Chinese.

Santa: That is right. But Jim I have to set an example for young people. That seems to be something that has gone out of style in a lot of places. These climate hoaxters not only wanted to cover up their faulty data tracks, but also to keep the grant gravy train going as long as possible. They wanted to become Climate Change Supremacists. And that is where I had to step in as I am against all that kind of stuff.

So I put my Intel guys on it and they found the emails, in like about five minutes. They snookered me into paying for the job rather than by the hour. I will remember that next time. And as you know Jim, I have diplomatic immunity.

JimDean: Santa, I thought you had to have a country somewhere to have that.

Santa: Have you not heard of the North Pole, Jim? Do you deny that that is a country that I am the head honcho of and therefore automatically qualify for that wonderful diplomatic immunity? That is why I was the one that had to expose this.

JimDean: Santa, I can tell you now in front of all these witnesses that I am not a North Pole denier.

Santa: Good Jim. Glad to hear that. I can put my black book away. You still have a shot now at that new web video compression software you wanted for Christmas. Not sure about the grant funding part though. You know my endowment is still way down.

JimDean: Thanks fine Santa. But I would like to ask...it would really boost our web ratings to get a live video interview with you on this climate change scandal. Whadaya say Santa? You know we are a real pro Santa outfit around here.

Santa: Now Jim, you must realize that I am kind of busy right now. But as to the tech stuff, I have a friend of mine I have arranged to speak for me...on background. He really wanted this exposed for his Christmas present so I obliged. And there's that lady, Lorrie Goldstein of the Toronto Sun. I put her onto some good material. So I am off to quality control now.

JimDean: One last question Santa...about this Al Gore fella, you know, the fella where that long time Communist spy, Armand Hammer, was the political and then financial mentor of his dad the Senator and then Al himself. How do you think he is going to take this hoax revelation?

Santa: (Pause for a while). Like I said before Jim, Santa knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. I knew about Armand Hammer being a long time Communist spy. Yeltsin let it out when he opened up the Comintern archives in the early nineties. Harvey Klehr down there in Atlanta at Emory University dug it out of the Soviet archives. So let me just say...that brother Gore has, excuse me, had it coming to him. I mean after all, the man flies around around in a private jet and has a 20,000 square foot house. To sum up what I think of him: I am red but am really green. He thinks he's green, but is really red.

JimDean: Wow, thank you Santa. What a note to end on. You can always have a second career in investigative journalism it you get tired of what you are doing. I'll ask Steve Scroggins, our webmaster, to post the links you mentioned. And he is a Santa believer, too...just like Jeff Davis. He was the one who told us about the letter you wrote the Confederate family kids one lean Christmas year during that unfortunate event. But I will save that til it is closer to Christmas. It was a great letter...a heritage masterpiece. And thank you Santa. That software is called Squeeze 6...

End of Phone Interview