Interview with Santa Claus on Naughty Climate Change Brown Shirts
-- Commentary by Jim Dean 12/02/2009
"Whenever you hear the consensus of scientists agrees on something or other, reach for your wallet, because you're being had." --
Michael Crichton, Caltech Michelin Lecture, January 17, 2003
Well, well...Santa came early this year. I should have seen it coming. Why would Santa be concerned about the global warming?
It will have a great effect on his future as much as anyone's. So I decided to call him and ask if it was he who hacked the emails.
JimDean: Hello Santa, Thank you for being with us for your first GHC interview. Let me start right out be asking you...was it
you Santa that hacked the email files that showed the climateers were running a Barnum and Bailey hoax on us?
Santa: Well Jim, I cannot tell a lie. It was not me personally but you know I have a lot of elves up here and I can't run my
operation without some geeks. The Chinese have been trying to hack me for year now, something about unfair competition, not paying
any duties, dumping under priced goods on the market. Those fellas play hard ball.
JimDean: Santa, you have elves that can hack into university computers?
Santa: There is a little more to it. You see I have some ex-CIA and NSA consultants I have on retainer, and those folks are pretty
talented when it comes to communications. I use my elves for defense, and the consultants for offense. That way I have deniability,
that is what I think they call it in the 'trade.'
JimDean: I think our viewers would be very curious to know how you got onto these fellas rigging the data and the computer modeling
to come up with their desired result.
Santa: I am surprised at you Jim. You heritage folks should be right on top of this. Santa KNOWS who's been naughty, and who has
been nice, and these fellas have been real naughty.
JimDean: On sure Santa...I knew that...sure I did...but I have to ask these question for the sake of our heritage deprived viewers
Santa: Jim....you are being naughty.
JimDean: OK Santa....you got me. I was trying to slide that one by you. But Santa, what was the motivation for these folks? Why
risk their reputations over such a huge issue? Don't they have nice cushy university research jobs, health care, pensions and all
of that good stuff.
Santa: Well yes they do Jim. And they want to keep them. You see they have been milking these grants and between girlfriends and
mistresses, the horse races in England are a big thing, and those long European vacations they love so much...they...well...they
cut a few corners so to speak.
JimDean: Santa, are you saying they took the grant money and they gave us a bunch of gobbledey gook in return?
Santa: Yes, that is the bottom line. The data was just a mess. They knew it was just a matter of time before they were eventually
exposed. So they concocted this scheme where anyone who challenged them in any way would be smeared as a climate change denier.
They borrowed it from the holocaust denier lobby folks, you know, where they put people in jail for challenging the official history
of WWII. I think they get five years. And 'truth' is no defense in those prosecutions. All they have to do is prove you challenged
the official version and wham...you get five years.
JimDean: Sir, It seems like you would tend to go the other way on this issue. After all, you have been the victim of Santa deniers
for years now, especially the Red Chinese.
Santa: That is right. But Jim I have to set an example for young people. That seems to be something that has gone out of style in
a lot of places. These climate hoaxters not only wanted to cover up their faulty data tracks, but also to keep the grant gravy
train going as long as possible. They wanted to become Climate Change Supremacists. And that is where I had to step in as I am
against all that kind of stuff.
So I put my Intel guys on it and they found the emails, in like about five minutes. They snookered me into paying for the job rather
than by the hour. I will remember that next time. And as you know Jim, I have diplomatic immunity.
JimDean: Santa, I thought you had to have a country somewhere to have that.
Santa: Have you not heard of the North Pole, Jim? Do you deny that that is a country that I am the head honcho of and therefore
automatically qualify for that wonderful diplomatic immunity? That is why I was the one that had to expose this.
JimDean: Santa, I can tell you now in front of all these witnesses that I am not a North Pole denier.
Santa: Good Jim. Glad to hear that. I can put my black book away. You still have a shot now at that new web video compression
software you wanted for Christmas. Not sure about the grant funding part though. You know my endowment is still way down.
JimDean: Thanks fine Santa. But I would like to ask...it would really boost our web ratings to get a live video interview with
you on this climate change scandal. Whadaya say Santa? You know we are a real pro Santa outfit around here.
Santa: Now Jim, you must realize that I am kind of busy right now. But as to the tech stuff, I have a friend of mine I have arranged
to speak for me...on background. He really wanted this exposed for his Christmas present so I obliged. And there's that lady, Lorrie
Goldstein of the Toronto Sun. I put her onto some good material. So I am off to quality control now.
JimDean: One last question Santa...about this Al Gore fella, you know, the fella where that long time Communist spy, Armand Hammer,
was the political and then financial mentor of his dad the Senator and then Al himself. How do you think he is going to take this
Santa: (Pause for a while). Like I said before Jim, Santa knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. I knew about Armand Hammer
being a long time Communist spy. Yeltsin let it out when he opened up the Comintern archives in the early nineties. Harvey Klehr
down there in Atlanta at Emory University dug it out of the Soviet archives. So let me just say...that brother Gore has, excuse me,
had it coming to him. I mean after all, the man flies around around in a private jet and has a 20,000 square foot house. To sum
up what I think of him: I am red but am really green. He thinks he's green, but is really red.
JimDean: Wow, thank you Santa. What a note to end on. You can always have a second career in investigative journalism it you get tired
of what you are doing. I'll ask Steve Scroggins, our webmaster, to post the links you mentioned. And he is a Santa believer,
too...just like Jeff Davis. He was the one who told us about the letter you wrote the Confederate family kids one lean Christmas
year during that unfortunate event. But I will save that til it is closer to Christmas. It was a great letter...a heritage
masterpiece. And thank you Santa. That software is called Squeeze 6...
End of Phone Interview
Dear GHC readers,
On a serious note... We here at GHC have always labored to confront hoaxes and take on the elites who
historically do everything they can to manipulate the rest of us. The climate change 'denier' bit was a flashing red neon sign
that they had something they were really wanting to hide. This whole climate change hoax was run like an espionage operation. They
had friends up and down the line in media, funding and political protection.
This is just one example of major mega scams that are being run on the public. America is under attack...and from many directions
at once. The bad guys are already here. They are wired in with their networks, and it will take some long hard work to dig them up.
Please help us with your year end donations to keep up the good fight. Viewers topped 1.2 million last week. We would love to
break 2 million next year. The key to that we feel will be doing a lot more multimedia. To keep it coming we need your help as the
expenses and labor to keep multimedia flowing requires glucose and oxygen on regular basis.
We have Santa's help, but he never brings cash. It's not safe :-)
Jim Dean is the producer of Heritage TV and a member of the Georgia
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"When the search for truth is confused with political advocacy, the pursuit of knowledge is reduced to the quest for power."
--Alston Chase, quoted by Michael Crichton in Why Politicized Science is Dangerous, excerpted from State of Fear
"The urge to save humanity is almost always a false-face for the urge to rule it." --H.L. Mencken
"Historically, the claim of consensus has been the first refuge of scoundrels; it is a way to avoid debate by claiming that the
matter is already settled. " --Michael Crichton, Caltech Michelin Lecture, January 17, 2003
I've been poring over one of many leaked computer files from the "climategate" scandal.
It's worse than those e-mails revealing leading climate scientists did a "trick" to "hide the decline" in global temperatures and privately called it a "travesty" they couldn't explain recent cooling.
This document has the innocuous header "HARRY_READ_Me.txt."
I'm indebted to Kate McMillan, the remarkable Canadian blogger who runs smalldeadanimals.com, for calling it to my attention.
You can easily find it online. I used www.anenglishmanscastle.com/HARRY_READ_Me.txt.
The file -- 274 pages long -- describes the efforts of a climatologist/programmer at the Climatic Research Unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia to update a huge statistical database (11,000 files) of important climate data between 2006 and 2009.
The computer coding, along with the programmer's apparently unsuccessful efforts to complete the project, involve data that are the foundation of the study of climate change -- recordings from hundreds of weather stations around the world of temperature and precipitation measurements from 1901 to 2006, sun/cloud computer simulations, and the like.
These presumably precise data are the backbone of climate science.
Reading "HARRY_READ_ME.txt" it's clear the CRU's files were a mess. The programmer laments huge gaps in data, bug-filled programs and worries about all the guesswork he's doing. His comments suggest the problems go back years.
The CRU at East Anglia University is considered by many as the world's leading climate research agency. Here's how CBSNews.com's Declan McCullagh describes its enormous impact on policymakers:
"In global warming circles, the CRU wields outsize influence: It claims the world's largest temperature data set, and its work and mathematical models were incorporated into the United Nations Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change's 2007 report. The report ... is what the Environmental Protection Agency acknowledged it 'relies on most heavily' when concluding carbon dioxide emissions endanger public health and should be regulated."
As you read the programmer's comments below, remember, this is only a fraction of what he says.
- "But what are all those monthly files? DON'T KNOW, UNDOCUMENTED. Wherever I look, there are data files, no info about what they are other than their names. And that's useless ..." (Page 17)
- "It's botch after botch after botch." (18)
- "The biggest immediate problem was the loss of an hour's edits to the program, when the network died ... no explanation from anyone, I hope it's not a return to last year's troubles ... This surely is the worst project I've ever attempted. Eeeek." (31)
- "Oh, GOD, if I could start this project again and actually argue the case for junking the inherited program suite." (37)
- "... this should all have been rewritten from scratch a year ago!" (45)
- "Am I the first person to attempt to get the CRU databases in working order?!!" (47)
- "As far as I can see, this renders the (weather) station counts totally meaningless." (57)
- "COBAR AIRPORT AWS (data from an Australian weather station) cannot start in 1962, it didn't open until 1993!" (71)
- "What the hell is supposed to happen here? Oh yeah -- there is no 'supposed,' I can make it up. So I have : - )" (98)
- "You can't imagine what this has cost me -- to actually allow the operator to assign false WMO (World Meteorological Organization) codes!! But what else is there in such situations? Especially when dealing with a 'Master' database of dubious provenance ..." (98)
- "So with a somewhat cynical shrug, I added the nuclear option -- to match every WMO possible, and turn the rest into new stations ... In other words what CRU usually do. It will allow bad databases to pass unnoticed, and good databases to become bad ..." (98-9)
- "OH F--- THIS. It's Sunday evening, I've worked all weekend, and just when I thought it was done, I'm hitting yet another problem that's based on the hopeless state of our databases." (241).
- "This whole project is SUCH A MESS ..." (266)
And based on stuff like this, politicians are going to blow up our economy and lower our standard of living to "fix" the climate?